Another Green Monster to start the day off. The recipe yields too much goodness for a regular glass so this morning I decided to put it into my Fresh glass jar.
Yup, I'm thinking exactly what you are. That looks nasty. Another downside to it? It's too tall for straws. I really don't like the feeling of knocking back a smoothie, I'm a textures person and this morning my skin is crawling from my no-straw performance. This vessel just will not do. Back to the drawing board, I'll need to find something big with a straw. I have something in mind. I'll let you know once I find it...and if it works as fantastically as I think it will.
I also stopped at Starbucks this morning to get myself a tall vanilla soy latte. I needed a little treat and pick-me-up since yesterday night, though so magical and enjoyable, was pretty rough.
On Tuesday I kept my very tired eyes open until midnight to take advantage of The National Ballet's DanceBreak program. I was very excited for my Row L seat in the centre of the theatre for only $25. It is MUCH easier to get tickets with DanceBreak when you are only looking for one. I now had my ticket to the Spring Repertoire that included Pur ti Miro (a world premiere), Opus 19/The Dreamer, and West Side Story Suite.
Let me turn into a ballet critic for a moment, if you have no interest please skip this paragraph:
Though I was just over joyed by WSSS since it was a musical ballet...YES, you heard me! Singing and ballet in Converse sneakers with jazz hands....I was really taken by Jorma Elo's Pur ti Miro. The Finnish choreographer is known for his ridiculous speed of movement and contemporary style. To watch these prima ballerina's dancing contemporary style in traditionally classical ballet attire of dance belts and straight tu-tus at the breakneck speed of light just threw me. I was in awe. Three words for you: A-Ma-Zing. I smiled like a goof and giggled at his comedic transitions. I must admit this is nothing new for me, last year when I went to see Cinderella I was at the edge of my seat with excitement and even let out (unknown to me, I had to be told) a brief romantic sigh when Cinderella and the Prince kiss.
Now, I'm used to doing things on my own. I credit myself for being a very independent chick and I actually enjoy taking myself out. If you have never done it, I suggest you try it, just once, to see how it feels and if you can endure it. Last night was not one of those nights for me. At dinner I was seated at a table beside an older lady. Blonde, a bit chubby, alone, looked sad. That was enough to send me into a whirlwind of panic. I was now sitting alone staring at this woman who was my future. I was convinced that I would be alone forever (still a bit am) and I was about a 53 on the anxiety scale. Thank goodness that the ballet has the positive effect it does on me, the show started 20 minutes later and I forgot all about my attack because now I wasn't alone I was part of this creative world. Yes, capital cheese, just be glad you aren't the unlucky soul beside me at these things. After the ballet ended I walked across the street to City Hall and just sat by the water fountain.
I snapped these for you to see:
City Hall buildings:
The night air was cool and still, and there was just a hint of fog high up in the sky blurring the lights from towering office buildings, I felt like I was in a dream. As I looked around everything just seemed perfect. Beautiful. But there I was again, alone, and boy did I feel it. I sat there on a bench and a few tears started to fall. It's okay they were pretty, like all those fake tears in the movies. What a Blockbuster setting for it too. That's when my movie ended, the anxiety and panic rushed back and opened the flood gates. It wasn't just crying, I was sobbing on a bench, a very public bench. Odd thing was, I didn't care. Usually I try to cry in private because there is no crying in baseball (and I'd have to only assume there REALLY is no crying in lacrosse), it's just a sign of weakness right!? But there I sat on this bench, Kleenex in hand, matching the stunning waterworks in front of me. The sky opened and it began to rain, I quickly attempted to compose myself and drove home. I managed to pour myself into bed at midnight and pushed my alarm back to 8:00 a.m. to let me rest.
I took my time getting ready this morning, and the white and green cup in hand is mellowing me out a bit. I'm suffering from an emotional hangover. I am heading back to the gym tonight after work to battle the stationary bike again, and some more free weights of some sort. Momma and I are going to go out for dinner tonight for some 'us' time. I'm sure I'll write about my mom at some point on here, but the short story version is she's crazy, but I'm identical to her, looks and all.
I know this blogging is probably not what you're used to (whoever you are). I read all these health blogs of women who are on the right path after their string of "lower points". They are doing great, are healthy and on track. As you've noticed, this isn't that. As it's titled, I'm not on the right track, and all of my eggs? Are in different baskets. I'm trying to deal, find an outlet to help, and really have more than just my ankle to heal. This is a big life shake up, and it needs to be done. Who knows, maybe down the road, I'll be one of those girls? I'll be blogging with my shit together.
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