This little piggy...

Day 4: back to normal.

Guess who was waterworks again in yoga class? You betcha, this girl.

Lets start back from the beginning, since yoga ended my night.

Work went well, a bit distracted from tasks at hand, but it all got done. I was excited to get to the gym and get shuffling on the treadmill. Great idea, right? Wrong! OUCH OUCH OUCH. I made it 0.3 miles before my ankle was yelling at me to stop. I couldn't take one more step, it wanted none of it. I have to listen to my body when it tells me "no more". I don't want to make the injury (18 weeks tomorrow) any worse. I pushed weights for another hour before taking a breather.

I needed to settle myself and couldn't think of a better way then to take yoga class. Great thing that I had planned on the 9:30 class. It started off great, I was flowing, I was sweating. Then my foot started to tingle, actually sting. Know when your foot falls asleep so bad that it aches? Times it by 10, add 10383200395045 and we aren't even close to what my left foot felt like. The nerve that runs along the side of the leg, through the ankle and splits between piggies "wee wee wee" and "had none" was throwing up its best resistance tonight. WWIII in my left foot.

Kind of creepy!

That made things a little more difficult, and when we finally hit pigeon pose I lost it. I've mentioned a few times about how emotions are held in the hips and when we stretch them out, we also air out what we are holding onto. So along with the pain in my hips, I let out everything I was feeling. I let out the aches and pains of my body, I let out the overwhelming stress I'm still holding in my job, I let out the pity I have for myself that my ankle still doesn't want to heal, I let out the sadness that knows I won't be able to run the race I'm registered for on Sunday, I let out the resentment I have for myself for always managing to screw life up.

In short, I balled my eyes out in pigeon pose - face hidden on a block.

I'm home in my comfy sweats with a big mug of tea. I'm going to meditate and get to bed. Tomorrow I may not practice. I will listen to my body and see how I feel. Birthday dinner at The Keg, and I'm going to enjoy ever last bite.

Namaste!

Tonight I'll have a look

Happy Monday, ya'll!

It's going to be a very busy week, but it's exciting because it's my BIRTHDAY WEEK! Hooray! My birthday is on Friday.

Okay, need to calm myself down now (which I am convinced will never be possible, even with so much yoga ahead of me).

Day 2 on my personal revolution: I decided to see where I could push myself to.

I woke up feeling pretty good, not many aches and pains from a long class. I dressed for work, packed my lunch, packed my gym bag, and my yoga mat and was out the door.

Monday is a crazy day in the office, but as promised I left at 5:00 on the dot for my appointment with myself. I struggled through the gym, and was actually pretty grumpy. My back was hurting and I was a sour puss. Not a good start to a night that had no end in sight. After an hour of pushing weight I flew out the door and headed to the studio.

I wasn't too hopeful for class knowing how poorly weight training went, but I eased through the positions and sweat, sweat, sweat. The heat really helped mold out my back and stretch my aching muscles. Except my hips, holy lordy there are yelling at me today. I have a lot more pigeon pose to do.

Hurts sooooo good (source)

Hip stretches hurt sooo good. As my beloved Eoin Finn would say "it feels like ice cream being licked off your body". Wait, what?! I know! How the pain of hip stretches feels like being licked, I'll never know. Mr. Finn has always been a weird dude. 

So in the excitement of my birthday week, and being spoiled rotten, I have some serious planning to do because things are getting crazy this week. One of the reasons I'm glad I don't have a social life is because it interferes with my planning.

We just went over what today looked like.
Tuesday: work, Leafs game, meditation
Wednesday: work, gym, yoga, meditation
Thursday: work, gym, family dinner, yoga, meditation
Friday: work, Jays game, meditation
Saturday: my day! no plans, hoping for brunch and a pedicure, yoga, meditation
Sunday: race, yoga, 40 day meeting, birthday celebrations, meditation

I need to fit one more yoga class in there somewhere and not sure if I cram it in tomorrow or Friday. I'm not loving the idea of taking an early morning class so maybe I'll just practice at home and make up for it next week.

I'm not leaving much free time for me this week, but I think it is important to get into the swing of things and then let everything settle.

I have a strong feeling I'll ache tomorrow.

Stumped at what you should get me for my birthday? Here's the wishlist:

I'm off to meditate before bed. Peace and love and all that hippie shit!

Little darling, it seems like years

Today started a new challenge. A 40 day one.

Before I get to that, I'll catch you up on my absence. It has been a whirlwind three weeks in the life of me. I quit a job, I started a new job. I learned a new job, and haven't slept or ate. I yoga'd and gymed and painted my nails. I drove myself crazy trying to please everyone, and final realized that the only person I need to answer to is me.

I even ran for the first time since the ankle injury. On my 17 week hurt-aversery I took to the road for 0.5 miles. Short but sweet; I loved every second of it. I am very proud of myself. Tomorrow I'm hoping for a mile or two. My ankle is feeling pretty good, with the occasional twinge or tingle. I expected it to hurt a lot after the run, but it didn't react. Can you believe it? I'm starting to heal and build strength.

After all that, I can't even begin to explain how much I've missed blogging. So now I'm barely adjusting to the new life, I need to start scheduling again.  Writing is definitely going to be included.

So back to my 40 days...

Today was Day 1 of the Baron Baptiste 40 Days to a Personal Revolution. It's a program run at Power Yoga Canada, the studio I volunteer at on Sundays. It is meant to radically change your body and awaken the sacred within your soul.

Each day focuses on asana practice (go go yoga), meditation, diet and personal reflection. 

While going through the six weeks, this program is supposed to reveal mental clarity, lightness of body, and an illumination of spirit.

Who'd pass on that? I couldn't! I signed up the first day it was open for registration. 

Day 1: we got acquainted.

I am one of 28 lovelies signed up to take this journey. There are only three men, but that is three more than I expected.

We were then split up into groups of four that will act as our support system during the 40 days. I was lucky enough to be grouped with a very diverse group: one male, one mom, one super yogi, and me.

The first reflection was to state what you are letting go, and state what you are committed to have a breakthrough in.

This is where I took it (and by that I mean, I had to stand up in the middle of the circle and share with everyone):

I am letting go of my negative self talk.

Think the worst thought...then multiply it. That's me. I don't trust myself, I second guess every decision, I talk down, I internalize.

I am committed to having a breakthrough in my relationship with myself.

I am the ultimate people pleaser. I do what I can to make everyone else happy....and then neglect me. I pledge to make appointments with myself. I will sleep, I will eat good food, I will go to the gym, I will go to yoga, I will meditate, I will see my friends, I will laugh and enjoy. I will stop stressing myself out, and straining my sanity to appease others.

I told you, so I guess I have to stick to it!

I also took a 75 minute class. There will be lots and lots of yoga in my future. Part of the program is to practice six days a week. I also have to meditate everyday, journal, and go to weekly meetings. Yeah, I see it a bit like group therapy...two women cried today. There is a lot of deep shit that will come out and I'm happy to be a part of it all. I am staying open to the whole process until October 29. It terrifies me to show other people my weaknesses, but it is the only way that I will be able to grow. I'll need to get exposed if I want to be fixed. I can't remember who said it, but they said it best: you have to feel if you want to heal.

Want to learn more? Check it out HERE 

Oh, I'm also going to be one of the social media contributors for the studio. I've started them a YouTube page. Check me out:



I'm off to meditate for the night before rest. I'm leaving the office at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow because I've scheduled a gym appointment at 6 and a yoga class at 7:30. I have a stuffed pepper waiting in the fridge for tomorrow's lunch. Planning gold star.

I've missed you so much and am happy to be back. Thanks for being here for me as I heal and grow.

Both sides of the fence

Today was another leap and bound in yoga class.
I've mastered bakasana.

Bakasana (source)

Or better known as crow pose.

It is something I've only attempted a few times, and they have been sweaty and slippery attempts. Today, after toweling off and wearing longer tights, I mastered it. It was my ah-ha moment and I loved it! Now if I could only do shoulder stand and plow without strangling myself with my boobs. It's really no fun cutting off the air supply.

Good news - no tears, not a lot of pain in the ankle.
Bad news - morning workouts don't agree with me. Be it in the gym or yoga studio, I just get too queasy.  Today was so exception. Not enough calories in = dizzy and pukey in yoga class. 

My ankle actually looks better than it has since this whole thing started.

It actually looks like an ankle again!!!

The weirdest part is that with a well placed touch, I can still send off the nerve that runs into my pinky toe. Its a very tingly and odd sensation. That will need to go away soon. 108 days...yeah, it could have disappeared anytime.

I've been pretty mean to my body lately. Not working out often (I'm still afraid to run) and not eating very well. I have to put myself through another detox, because something I'm eating is causing intense headaches again. I'm thinking it is dairy, which has slowly creeped back into my diet thanks to ice cream and cheese. I will miss both of you dearly, but you are no good for me.

That won't start tonight though - there is ice cream to be eaten. Once that is done, I can start. How can someone be part Italian and not eat dairy? I know, but I've done it before and it didn't kill me (just a mild wound and longing), so here we go again. 

Any tips on how to care again about cooking and cleansing and the such?

For my music fans, please listen to the Jackson Square album by the Arkells.