Pretty, pretty, princess...hungry, hungry, hippo?

I'm a sleepy kitten. A VERY sleepy kitten, actually.

I kept myself up all night worrying about my stupid ankle. Is there cartilage damage? What have I really done to it? What will the MRI say?  It went on like that for hours. When I tried to distract myself from thinking about my ankle, I started arguing in my head about what the better nickname was: Princess Panic or Captain Panic? (I still don't know which one I like more) That also went on for hours.

As much as I want to know what is wrong so I can fix it. I'm afraid of what the outcome could be. I really don't want to resort to surgery. I deal much better with holistic health. Or as sister calls it: that hippie shit.

I'm very ready to crash, but no such luck. Today has to be one of the craziest days I've had in a while. I'm going to get my MRI requisition from Steph's other clinic today at 3:30ish, then the dentist at 4:50, then day 2 of yoga training from 7:15-11:15. I'd like to be able to take one of the two offered classes tonight, but I'm afraid I won't have the energy to get through it...or the ankle strength. My ankle looks more like an ankle than a grapefruit right now, but the pain just won't quit.

I'm excited for my four-day weekend, and the opportunity to sleep tomorrow. I also have taken on the challenge of vegan baking for Megan and family's Canada Day BBQ. Whole Foods was the one-stop shop to buy all the perfect ingredients! While I was there, I also picked up some lunch. My stuffed pepper will now act as dinner somewhere between the dentist and yoga.

Grilled salmon and a mess load of greens. Notice my gorgeous flower plate I picked up yesterday?

If I don't take a yoga class today, I'm not sure I'll fit in a workout (maybe for the best). Though my body (read: ankle) thanks me, I'm not sure my piggy bank does. Maybe I can talk sister into a walk tomorrow while my baking is on the window sill cooling? Alli, that's a hint to bring home something to go for a walk in.

Not sure if I'll be able to check in with you tomorrow, so if not Happy Canada Day! Enjoy the fireworks! I can't wait to spend the day surrounded by my sis, one of my besties, and some fantastic family!

Musical Chairs

Hey my peeps! So much to share today, I don't even know where to start.

Yesterday was mom's 59th birthday! Holy moley! She's far too cute to be 59, I don't even believe it.

Don't we look identical? I'd be happy to look like her when I'm 59. Her sister sent her an Edible Arrangements for her birthday, not knowing she'd be at the cottage instead of home. The narc and I had the duty of eating it before it got too ripe. Dark chocolate is full of antioxidants, right?

It's been a very delicious two days. The box is now empty, if you were wondering.

I told you last night about needing to assign pricing to my workouts for my workout piggy bank. Well, tada!

Training w/Krista or "Day 3" = $2
Run over 5 km = $2
Yoga - 75 or 90 mins = $2
Yoga - 60 mins = $1
Walk over 5 km = $1
Elliptical/Bike over 20 minutes = $1
Run 3-5 km = $1
Group fitness class (step, zumba, etc.) = $1
Walk 3-5 km = $0.50
Elliptical/Bike under 20 mins = $0.50

I earned myself $3 last night by training with Krista (2), 15 minutes on the elliptical (0.50) and going for a 3.5km walk with dad (0.50).

I just HAD to get a cute vessel for my earnings, and found this antique looking sugar jar from the Dollar Store. It's perfect, such a sweet reward...it's my sugar ;)

I also stopped off at Homesense on my way to physio today. Not for any particular reason, just because I love looking around. Every time I'm there I want to buy a chair. I fear when I get a place of my own I'll just have a whole bunch of random chairs from Homesense. At least I can have lots of company; no one will be able to cuddle though. I ended up picking out two plates and a bowl. All of which were on sale. They will spice up my food a bit, add some beauty to my nutrition.

Physio was next, more needles, more electro-current and more bad news. I'm being sent for an MRI because Steph isn't happy with what she feels and sees when she is manipulating my ankle. After five weeks and five days, it should be healing better. I'm not excited about the news. I am pretty distraught, actually. I think my friend Kevin put it into perspective for me by saying that at least with an MRI I will get a clear picture (literally) of what is wrong. This way I can properly fix the issue since I'll know what it is. Thanks, Kev!

After physio, the original plan was to go to the gym and get on the elliptical, all I wanted to do was go back to Homesense and buy some chairs for comfort. I settled for a walk with dad, and earned me another $0.50 of sugar.

p.s. If you haven't listened to "Lay Me Down" by Dirty Heads, you should! I firmly believe I am the green-eyed girl in the song! Just sayin'

Turn the beat around

I get so excited at the idea of new things. Throwing myself into commitments is exhilarating. Once I finally go, I become as nervous as I was after my first real kiss.

Detour: It was at the end of gr. 9 and I was kissed by my bestfriend's (at the time) brother in the dark after we finished watching Little Mermaid. Needless to say, it was magical! After we kissed I went to the bathroom and shook uncontrollably. I was so smooth even back then. After events like this, should I still wonder why my love life has unfolded like it has?

I had my first day of yoga studio volunteering last night and my stomach was in my throat before I stepped in the door. I was being trained by 3 very teeny girls, in very teeny pairs of Wonder Unders. I was in mine too, not as teeny. It turned out to be a blast, and I took a class. I modified it - lots of modifications - and took child's pose more often than not. Cleaned up the studio and chatted with some new kind souls before heading back to Casa Bridgman.

After I got home, and dried off from the downpour I decided to make stuffed peppers. It was very spur of the moment, and turned the ground turkey I had defrosting in the fridge intended for turkey burgers into part of the mixture for my waiting red peppers. I would usually insert a photo here, but was too occupied telling myself not to gobble up all the mixture before even stuffing the peppers. I ate one for lunch, but was too excited to finally get a taste that I didn't pose for a photo-op then either.

So I'm pretty proud of myself for proving I can work hard for the weight-loss again. But with great power comes great responsibility, right Peter? Welcome back panic. I had an overwhelming sense of doom last night after yoga that I won't be able to continue my progress. Most likely because I could feel my heart beating in my ankle, and the pain radiating out my ears. I tried to calm myself by logging-in to Spark People to read about motivation since I needed as much help as I could get. I stumbled upon this: Turning It around When You're Spiraling Out of Control. Good timing much?

The writer gives a few ways that she is able to turn things around when she is in her "lower points". Though, I don't find all five points helpful, the main message hit me. "The BEST thing you can do for yourself is to treat yourself well," she writes. How simple a thought, but it's so easy to forget. I have often treated myself like junk, both on purpose and not. Shouldn't I be #1? I really think so!

I'll need to start brainstorming some new great ways to treat myself well. My usual go-to is pedicures, but no one is touching my feet until my ankle is healed. As I've mentioned often, I love rewards. A firm believer of gifts for me for being awesome.  They can get expensive, but I really really like them. Enter Angela's blog about a workout piggy bank. Oh, really life? You're playing this game with me? I love signs, thank you! I'll pay myself for working out. Heck yes, I can! Save up for something pretty...oh like a new running outfit for my 5k! Perfect! Goal set, now I just need to set prices for each workout. Do you think my workouts are worth more while I'm injured? Would someone like to sponsor me instead? This is already hard work.

p.s. So I'm just a huge bundle of excitement, layoff. I'll return to my normal bitter, sarcastic self shortly I'm sure.

That's right put in work, move your ass, go berserk

I lost 5 pounds! And I'm not looking to find it.

It has been one week since I've stepped on the scale.  It wasn't a problem to keep me away this time, but when I was getting healthy (read: hot) the last time, I wanted to weigh three times a day.

I could possibly blame the first weight on cramps, water retention and generally being a tubby, but whatever it was I took ownership of it. I was the only one that made me this way. I also take full responsibility for my progress. I am proud of me. I have worked hard for it. The progress makes me fully realize one thing: the way you eat is the majority of the reason for weight loss (or gain).

Sure, I have been more active this week than the last few - biking, yoga, elliptical, walks - but I'm still not doing all that much and still not moving all that quickly. My major change? has been my eating habits. I'm turning into a bunny I've eaten so much spinach lately, and everything is freshly made with clean, wholesome ingredients. Portions have been kept in check, and water has been consumed like its going out of business.

At the same time I haven't deprived myself of anything. I had two very sugary alcoholic drinks at Jam, I made pasta one day, I'll still include carob chips in things.  I just have a better outlook. I don't zone out before I put food in my mouth. I enjoy every mouthful, and fight my stupid cravings.

Speaking of carbo chips. I made a batch of Megan's Simple Vegan Granola Squares just like I said I would after I devoured the ones she gave me. I didn't have any dried fruit but had the rest of the ingredients on hand so they were whipped up yesterday morning.

 

I also made a bunch of Almond Chicken Fingers from my Delicious Detox cookbook.

It's pretty simple:

• Cut boneless, skinless chicken breast into fingers
• Measure 1/2 cup of ground almonds onto a plate (I ground whole almonds in my spice grinder, worked great!)
• Pat the fingers in the ground almonds on both sides and lay on a non-stick cookie sheet
• Drizzle olive oil lightly over the fingers 
• Bake in a 450 degree oven for 12-15 minutes

So simple, so delish!

I'm going for my first training session at the yoga studio tonight. I'm so excited to be part of their community and once I can get going, I can't wait to try out power yoga. I'll bring my mat with me just in case tonight!

The ankle is probably about a 9 on the pain scale again. As the swelling goes down the pain goes up, and I don't like it one bit. Physio on Tuesday night, hopefully I don't cut off my foot for relief before then.

Baby, You Can't Doubt It

Leave it all on the mat.

The popular saying in yoga is supposed to help you set intentions and keep a positive frame of mind in class and beyond. Leave all the stress, the pain, the "can't" on your mat, and don't take it with you.

My mat is very heavy after tonight's class.

I struggled through poses, and lost my balance. I didn't quite flow through poses, instead lifted and adjusted and wobbled. I wasn't the yogi I know and love. I'm okay with all of it, because as my amazing yoga date Megan said, you'll sweat no matter what. 

I was full of positive self talk tonight and switched between "it's okay, you're doing great", "you can do it" and "you're stronger than you think". It was a 60 minute class - lots of mind talking happened.

I left class very sweaty, in pain, a little bit lighter of baggage, with a care package from Meg. Date night with her is a gift enough, but I was greeted with her smile, a huge hug, a Kombucha Wonders Drink (Lemon, yum!) and two of her Simple Vegan Granola Squares.

Along with another huge glass of water, I drank down half the bottle of tea and I gobbled up the smaller of the two granola squares. The peanut butter and oatmeal mix is amazing and I can't wait to make a batch of my own. The second square is calling my name, I'm trying to tell myself that it will taste better tomorrow, hopefully I can hold off.

I have five minutes of icing left, then more water and lots of sleep. 

I'll leave you with one more warm fuzzy. After Andrea and I went to dinner on Wednesday we stopped by my office because I forgot a few things. While searching through one of my desk drawers today, I found a little note Andrea left me. Wow! I have amazing friends.

Can you read her chicken scratch? it says "You're Special. (not in a short bus way)"

Shake and bake, etc.

Tonight was a very successful night.

Physio was more poking and more needles.

 Yeah, it doesn't look quite like an ankle yet, a few extra bumps that aren't usually involved. I'm walking almost normally again and Steph said that if I feel comfortable I should try the elliptical. Waaayyy ahead of her.

Gym was next. Got back on the elliptical, and it got easier today. I motored through 20 minutes, no song required. I felt my heart beating, and I was sweating. It was rough, but it got done. The entire time I was giving myself a pep talk, mostly positive with the occasional "move your ass fat girl" thrown in for an extra push.  I got an hour of weight training in afterward and could do squats again. I was feeling like a million bucks.

I was going to go back on the elliptical to end the night, but dad needs some motivation to get moving, so I came home and told him we should go for a walk. It wasn't long and it wasn't fast but we walked about 2.5 km. That's longer than either of us has done in a while probably.

When we got home from the walk I decided to be a domestic goddess and attack the kitchen.

I told you I had big things planned for the flours I bought at the Bulk Barn last week, and boy did they deliver. I've made two batches of pancakes, the first were Blueberry Buckwheat and the second were Blueberry Coconut. Both absolutely delicious.

Tonight I prepared a HUGE batch of Blueberry Coconut pancakes. Some for tomorrow's breakfast and some to freeze for the future.

Ingredients:
3/4 cup whole-wheat flour
3/4 cup coconut flour (or buckwheat flour)
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 salt
1 3/4 cup almond milk
2 eggs
2 tablespoons canola oil (I substituted 1 tbsp flax oil & 1 tbsp fish oil)
1 tablespoon honey
1 cup blueberries

In a large bowl mix flours, baking powder, baking soda and salt.
In a separate bowl whisk almond milk, eggs, oil, and honey.

Mix the wet into the dry ingredients then add the blueberries. I cook them in a non-stick pan until golden brown on each side.

Don't they look so good? I'm so pumped for breakfast tomorrow. I was craving something sweet for tonight, so I decided to whip up one of Gracie's solo cookies. She made her's with white chocolate and macadamia nuts. I made mine with carbo chips and coconut.

I'm pretty impressed with myself today on all fronts. Now it's time to get acquainted with my ice.

Five bad boys with the power to rock you

Today marks five weeks of struggling through this adventure. Slow and steady, but I've yet to win the race. I think I'm just a bit worse for wear.

I'm actually in screaming pain right now. The bondage brace is off and I'm trying desperately not to go cross-eyed (both out of pain and boredom). I long for week two and three when I was in swollen, painless bliss. I may have walked funny, but I sure didn't hurt like this. Ibuprofen down the hatch (don't tell the narc) hopefully they kick in soon. The narc aka my dad is a regulator of over the counter medicine. He reads every label and follows the hour and dosage suggestions to a tee. I? open my mouth and swallow until the pain stops.

Andrea and I discussed last night the importance of good advice. We came to the conclusion that her fortune cookie gave better advice than her boytoy. I know the people in my life that I go to when I want to be coddled, those who will give me direct advice, and I know the people that will just listen and nod and smile. My mother is usually the first or the last person, I flop myself into her lap and she pets my head like I'm the puppy. When she's in a mood, she'll be far too honest with you and I caught her in that mood last night. I made her a latte and we chatted a bit about the progress of my ankle. She was blown away at how normal I was walking. I expressed the amount of pain I was in, and how I was worried about healing and running. What came out of her mouth was not expected:

"You won't be running in that race. You wont be ready, you wont be running." 

Gee thanks mom! I can always count on you to stay the right thing. Who is supposed to coddle me now? Thank goodness for my beyond positive attitude, I told her that I WILL be running, that my ankle does not have a choice in the matter nor the deciding vote and then stuck my tongue out at her. The six year old inside me wins again. Triumph!

I brought my Monster Paws with me to work today, it may be more appropriate to wear those than be constantly barefoot. Not one really minds, but I still don't think it's right. Plus, I dress too preppy to be a hippie. Black dress shirt and khaki shorts today, adorable!

Today's title comes from my fav. boy band of 1998 - 5ive!
Enjoy!

These Boots Are Made For Walking

Pain scale is about a 7 - or seven - sorry Canadian Press.

The bondage brace has been off and on today numerous times. My ankle is easy, she undresses quicker than I do. *insert drum noise after cheesy joke*  Lots of swelling today which makes me take it off, and lots of pain which makes me put it back on.

After work I met up with Andrea (the bestie) for dinner.

I met Andrea on my first day of Gr. 9 and we became fast friends. We like the same things and surprise each other with similar interests even 11 years later. We also hate the same things (read: people) and have very similar whit. Though I may be more of a vocal bitch than my sweet friend, she does love me for it though, and I love that about me too. So it's a win-win. Andrea is a naive dreamer and I am a realist. We are like a nice suit on young money. We go well together.   

We went to JAM in downtown Oakville for some chat time before she takes off to Florida with her boytoy. This is our beyond favourite place for girlie evenings.

Drinks to start, and even though they have an extensive martini list I revert back to my regular, the Caramel Apple. It's basically sin in a glass and I end up licking the caramel from the edge. No shame, all indulgence. Andrea branched out and tried the "Jam On It" it tasted like a sweet tart and made me do the Fresh Prince Jump On It dance.

We both order the Pear Salad. NO NUTS - Andrea may explode - allergy. Did I mention I never ate peanut M&Ms until University and now I am hooked but rarely eat them because I'm around Andrea more often than not? When we order these it always reminds me of the Cobb Salad Lunch from Julie & Julia - we both alter our salads.

The two of us talked endlessly about how good this salad is. We sound like love sick schoolgirls.

Last course is fortune cookies (Andrea realized she could eat these after our last visit. She likes to experiment with things to see if she'll have a reaction. I almost have a heart attack each time but now know the quickest route to any hospital in the GTA, that must count for something.)

We rolled out of JAM full and completely satisfied and Andrea dropped me off at home.

I then put on my new MONSTER PAWS.

 My poor left ankle! I just took it out of the brace again, it just looks so mangled.

Yes, I realize they are called Vibram FiveFingers but Megan called them MPs earlier and I think it is so fitting.

Meg also got a pair. 

I plan for us to hike trails together in our MPs. BTW Megan, we're hiking trails, okay? I agree that we'll have to pose for a photo-op together.

For the last four weeks and six days I have rarely been in shoes. The first two weeks I couldn't squeeze my foot into them, the last three I've been working on my muscle firing. Being barefoot strengthens the muscles in the hips, legs and feet and improves the arch in the foot. These MPs are supposed to have the same benefits as being completely barefoot.

They will take a bit to get used to because you have to retrain your muscles. Funny enough the one on my left foot doesn't feel as strange as the one on my right...wonder why. Right now even just wearing them feels like a workout for my feetsies. Slowly but surely I will get more and more time in the shoes, and then out on those trails with Meg.

Tomorrow is physio and gym, it should be interesting. Maybe I'll wear the Monster Paws to the gym.

Let me break the ice

"You may have cartilage damage, Laur."

Ever feel so scared that everything shuts down? My mind went completely blank and my body froze when I heard those words.

Steph knocked me out with that 1, 2 punch. What started out in my mind as a simple roll turned into a sprain, turned into a stage III sprain, turned into the ligament tear and a compressed bursa, and now on top of all of that I may have chipped cartilage on my talus bone. You're kidding me, right? Have I mentioned lately that this ankle thing is really pissing me off? Oh, I have? Well good, just making sure.

Electro-current and acupuncture, and some A.R.T.

I left physio feeling like a pin cushion, a hurtin' pin cushion that's been around the block and automatically went to the freezer upon returning home and reached for a bag of ice.

I'm not going to lie, I am extremely terrified (now more than ever) that I have less than 96 days to rehab and learn how to walk again and then run, and then run well before the Scotiabank Waterfront.  I know it sounds like plenty of time, but....*digress into rant about stupid ankle*

Lets end tonight on a positive note, shall we? I've been preaching to sister that she should be more of a Positive Polly. Guess I should listen to my own stupid advice.

My running group has grown. I told you all that Lauren was on board, but Jenn has signed up too (and her mom and her aunt) and Sandra is on the fence. Thank goodness I'm so good at giving people a very swift and powerful push off fences.

I received another phone call from Big Sisters and got my police check forms in the mail today. I'm on the right path. It just takes so long for the check to process that I doubt I'll be matched with my little until August or September.

I am also going into the yoga studio for my first training shift on Sunday. I'll be volunteering my time once a week working reception and doing some tidying. In turn, I'll get to practice at the studio. Heated power yoga...how exciting. It will be different than my normal Moksha series; I hope I love it. I'm a little too excited and eager, I think. I may have sent the woman at the studio 3 emails today.  Poor woman, not sure she's encountered someone who gets as high as I do. Yogi's are zen...I'm spastic!

I'm off to ice again. Catch ya tomorrow. Actually, I probably won't be able to catch you....I don't move too fast.

p.s. I haven't had song lyrics as my title in a few posts, but I'm back at it now. Have you even noticed this trend? Britney spices up your Tuesday! She's so sassy.

Gloomy Tuesday Routine

Legs on Lou go round and round, round and round.

So as much fun as singing the little song was, it may have been the only thing getting me through the elliptical last night. The pain was minimal, though still there, but the legs whirled in circles as the song played on repeat in my head.

As motivation for myself I've hung a pair of jeans from my bedroom door. I wore them once in August '09, and I would like to wear them much more regularly.

They are size healthy, they are size my butt looks hot in these, they are size meant for me.

I see them a billion times a day now, instead of hiding them in my bottom drawer with the rest of the "these don't fit" pants. Once I get my butt back into these pants (which I will) I will do a photoshoot in them. Yes, I will. There we go. It's now set.

Today is a bit of a struggle to me. I have physio tonight and would like to get some foam rolling and yoga time in but there isn't much pushing me along. I found out last night that an amazing gentleman, Barry Larock died last night after a long battle with cancer. Barry was the assistant video coach of the Rock for 3/4 of last season. The news hit me harder than I expected it to. We all knew the outcome of a lung and brain tumor. I'm shaken up, and very sad. Last night I balled my eyes out.

This is how Barry described himself once:

My friends call me Rocko, Rocky, and a host of other handles. I'm 44, really, really short but I have the soul and the heart of a very big man. Why, because I am a fighter! No, not with my fists, but with the mind, an arsenal of courage and strength through my attitude to crush this terrible disease.

I  don't think I could have said it better myself. He was the owner of the warmest smile I have ever had hit me, and would go out of his way to make sure everyone around him was happy. He was giving and charitable. He will be greatly missed.

If you care to know more about this man take a read:
Barry Larock's Cancer Treatment - Barry's Personal Blog
Larock epitomizes courage and class - Peterborough Examiner
Barry Larock dies of cancer - My Kawartha
Larock lived life with dignity and class - Peterborough Examiner

Lay off Plakas!

I've been itching to get back to cardio workouts. I did a few sun salutations after Riley upstaged me on my own yoga mat on Saturday night. The pain is still there with weight transfers but I'm hoping I'll be able to struggle through my Friday yoga date with Meg. At the gym I've mostly been doing weight training, which is good, but I haven't really done much that's sent my heart rate into a panic in four weeks and four days(but who's counting). After having to hustle across Bay St. yesterday I've realized that I'm not ready to go jogging yet (holy crow that was painful) and since biking wasn't really doing it for me, I'm thinking that the elliptical will be my next challenge. I can stand on my left foot with even weight distribution and the elliptical doesn't do harm on the joints. Paul Plakas would be so ashamed of me for even thinking about the elliptical.

Paul, listen, I'm sorry but I just can't slam my too much body weight onto my ankle yet. I know you preach doing movements that are practical in life, but I know this time you'll understand. Also, do you need me to tell the producers of X-Weighted that you need more airtime? I'm missing your face and snaggle tooth.

After I saw Paul yell at a tubby while working out I have longed for him to be my trainer. He'd make me cry, but then I feel we'd be all buddy-buddy, and maybe makeout. Hey, it's my television trainer daydream, don't judge. I may have also just found him on Twitter. This may be dangerous. Okay, time to stop being s.u.p.e.r.c.r.e.e.p.y.

I need to go grocery shopping tonight and spend some time cooking for the week. It was nice to just go out today and get lunch. Though too expensive, it feels nice to treat myself on this sunny summer Monday! With Artisano's right across the street, I know I can stay healthy while still eating out. I think I've gushed about just how good their Thai Chicken Salad is, and I will again. So delicious and so pretty.

Of course, I forgot to ask them to hold the red onions AGAIN today. They just burn a hole in my tummy; I don't do too well with raw onion. Pick, pick, pick, gone. This is the kind of salad that you eat and you never want it to actually be done because you enjoy it so much. Yes, it's the kind of salad you could win friends with!

I had a Vega Vibrance bar for a snack today and I forgot how good they were since I was on a Larabar kick there for a bit. I love tasting food and liking it so much I want to yum out loud. Today's eats have totally done that to me. More water and a big mug of peppermint tea.

I also mentioned a bit back on my Twitter that I have warm water with lemon every morning. It is the first thing that goes into my body once I wake up. It balances your PH, kick starts most body functions and - my favourite - clears up congestion. Since I have began drinking it again I have stifled my normally sniffley nose.  I am down to one or less Kleenex a day, and could have used up to 10 before. What I love? Is seeing success in action.

I'm in the process of starting a new workout playlist. I am never good at these things and usually end up with far too much Salt n' Peppa that doesn't actually make sense to workout to. They sure are fun to sing at the top of my lungs though. It's none of your business! 

Once I figure out if this elliptical workout will do something for me, or I can start hustling on the treadmill again I think I'm going to go back to weekly weigh-ins. As humiliating as they are I'm a chick fueled by competition. I have an ongoing bet with myself that I will do well. That's the ultimate goal right? To be healthy and happy.

I'm back on the physio table tomorrow too. Hopefully only good news from here on in. The unexplained swelling has unexplainablly disappeared. That's one (slow and wobbly) step in the right direction. I feel vodka has to be involved, I was doing a little boogie on it for a while on Friday. Drinking? May also need to exit the picture sometime soon. Not like I actually drink much, or frequently.

My love affair

Riley has me motivated tonight to try to get back onto my mat.

He's used it more than I have since I hurt my ankle. My balance and weight distribution is still off so I haven't attempted to practice yoga. A few sun salutations may not be the worst thing to try, I may just leave Dancer's Pose out of the mix.

I'm one sleepy kitten after a very lovely night and afternoon with my girls. We went to the Maddy last night in true grad school fashion and sat in the piano room. The night is never complete until we belt out Kenny Rogers...oh The Gambler! Lots and lots of singing, some vodka, oh and a few of these too.

I think I looked pretty cute last night too. How nautical!

I got back onto the scale yesterday - I think it's been since January - I was very disappointed. Every last pound that I lost I've gained back. I'm back to square one and not impressed with myself. I know I am able to succeed again, and hopefully this time I do not lapse. Lauren was a great motivation and listened to me bitch about it all this morning and offered up some very practical advice and pointers. Have I mentioned lately that Lauren looks smokin' hot? I'm so proud of her. 

We spent the afternoon at the Dome taking in the Jays game. A win, three great friends, a visit from Megan, and four amazing seats right right of home plate.

Kathryn has now gone back home and flies back to Calgary tomorrow. I enjoyed every minute with her and my heart hurts that she is gone again. 

After I got home (and had a much needed nap) Alli and I gave dad his Father's Day present. We are taking him to the Jays game tomorrow, got him a new t-shirt to wear and bought him an ice-creamy cake. (have you rapped lately?)

My Weekend with Lil Jon, I mean, the PR Girls

Oh hello there. Fancy meeting you here on a Friday morning.

When I got to the office today I was greeted with a beautiful sight. Our team trailer that we load up all of our junk in just got a makeover. It looks great and features a few of my favourites. They look so happy, I love celebration shots and the photography of Graig Abel.

It does Totally Rock. Probably my favourite pun of the 2010 season. I'll need to think of something new for 2011.

I'm not going to discuss the rest of yesterday, it was not good and I don't care to relive it. Lets just say we need to keep me away from all reflective surfaces and my ankle needs to get better, and fast! I'm not sure which is better, unexplained swelling or Steph not being able to explain the unexplained swelling. Here is a sneak peek of what physio looked like:

Let's look forward instead, shall we? Tonight I need to pack my bag for an oh-so girlie sleep over. The lovely ladies I went to grad school with are having a reunion. There are five of us. Lori, Lauren, Laura, Kathryn and Sandra. I'm not too sure what the last two were thinking with their names, they don't flow like the first three. I know what you're thinking, and yes, we have gone out and played the "we're Lori, Lauren and Laura." It usually hold down at least 5 minutes of conversation.

Let me tell you a bit about these fabulous PR chickies: besides being beautiful they are also among the few friends I really hold dear. They were formed first, and I was lucky enough to be welcomed along. Don't ask me how it happened, I don't even really know. All I do know is that I'm fortunate.  We're now all busy being fabulous and though Lauren, Sandra and I are in Toronto the other two have moved.

Kathryn is back in town from Cow-town, and that only calls for one thing. Celebrations! Girls night tonight, with healthy snacks to start and probably Jager Bombs to end. Jays game tomorrow because I can always count on Kathryn to pull for baseball. I was lucky enough to see Kathryn while in Calgary for work in February. She had a broken toe and was in a boot then, now she's all healed and I have the brace. The last time she came home was just before Christmas and the PR girls all got together then too.

That's me, Kathryn, Sandra and Lauren. We are missing Lori, but sadly will be missing Lori again this weekend. Now living in Ottawa, she has her dad's 70th birthday...pffttt priorities!

Adorable right? Yea, and then Kathryn and I started a photoshoot.

I simply cannot wait until tonight, even though I'm a bit afraid of how well I'll hold up. I have not had much of a social life in the last four weeks, and I have certainly not had anything to drink. I'm never ashamed to call it a night, but with so much fun all in one place I really hope I don't have to. Why can I already read trouble allllll over this?

I have to work an event before the Jays game tomorrow. I'll be a tired one but it will all be worth it. I'm going to sleep on Saturday night. Sister and I have a day planned for dad on Sunday. Father's Day fun for the whole family, well not mom because she doesn't want to come. She opted out, but the day isn't for her anyway.

I'll leave you with one more photo. Why? Because it is Friday and because I love jazz hands...even when they are growing out of my chin.

Not so PG-13

Happy 4 week hurt-a-versary to me! I actually can't believe that has already been 4 weeks. Although it has flown by, as I arrive on my healing cusp of 4-6 and look down at my brace (today hid under a pair of lulu wonder unders - cute as leggings, practical for running) I'm reminded that I'm still not fixed. Actually still far from. I'm in a lot of pain today, and walking is proving more difficult that a few days ago. I'd rather not continue this for another two weeks, but it seems like that may be the trend.

Excuse me, ankle, I'm supposed to be running soon. Can you please heal faster? I'd appreciate it. With cherries on top.

See, the trick is you have to be nice. When I'm mean to life it likes to fuck up my karma. I've been having an okay streak, so I'm trying hard not to ruin it.

Speaking of okay karma, I've received great feedback from my Big Sisters application and my yoga studio application. I'm currently waiting on "next steps" to get me going on both projects. I am enjoying the thought of throwing myself into such helping tasks. It was my goal not to just to rehab my ankle but also rehab my soul. Giving back? Seems like an amazing way of doing that!

Pause...just needed to call the producer of MenTV. I told him they want to feature a few of my guys on their new show "Cool Guy Files". Who is cooler than my guys? No one! It seems like a go. Probably taping in July. Can't wait! I have a secret dream of being a producer. I'm looking forward to working some broadcast magic this summer instead of doing the mundane office tasks that have kept me oh so not busy.

While cleaning out the filing cabinet (mundane office task) the other day in my office I found this awesome Nikon D-SLR. Not too sure why no one ever uses it, or told me about it. It's a great camera. Needs a longer lens, but its still good. I used it in Uxbridge last evening, and took a picture of my breakfast this morning. I think I want to get a few pretty coloured plates and bowls for my food. Isn't it true that if it looks gorgeous you'll enjoy it more? My fake PB&J aka toasted raisin Ezekiel with almond butter tasted just fine sitting atop my to-do list as it would on a plate...doesn't mean I still don't want one. 

I may keep the camera with me just in case of impromptu photo shoots. Those pesky things pop up out of the blue.

I've been eating ridiculously healthy lately, and I do really enjoy it. I've even been talking myself out of bad food. For instance last night on my way home from Uxbridge I was super hungry and knew I could stop at a drive-thru, instead I let my tummy grumble until I got home and was able to prepare something healthy and delicious. This morning I saw some glorious white flour, thick cut raisin bread in the freezer, but opted for the sprouted grain one. Pat on the back x2.

I have physio and the gym tonight, and I WILL be taking it easy at both places. I don't need to compromise healing just to inflate my already monstrous ego.

p.s. I wondered how long it would take me to drop the f-bomb. I successfully got through 11 posts. Now I'm tainted. Oh well since I did it once: fuck, fuck, fuck.

Back to the Beginning

I'm about a 9 on the pain scale today. It is reminiscent of Week One when I was sitting in the ER trying to figure out if somewhere underneath the grapefruit growing there was an ankle, and if there was, was anything broken in there. Did I mention tomorrow marks Week Four?

So verdict is: I completely over did it on Monday. Steph told me at phsyio last night, but now I believe it for myself. So I need to calm down just a bit. I haven't re-injured anything, just aggravated it and jammed up my joint. It didn't want to move, even with a lot of manipulation. 

Today is a rest day, I'm not going to attempt any rehab on my own, I'm not going to the gym, I'm not going to physio. I'm just going to ice it a lot and when I get home (so late) I'll do the hot and cold bucket treatment. You know the sensation of jumping out of a hot tub and into the snow? Common, I know I'm not the only 12 year old who has played Truth or Dare in the winter time. Well try that every two minutes with an injured ankle. Two buckets of water - one ice cold, one rather warm. It throws me through the roof, but it gets circulation going. I've also been continuing my dry brushing to promote circulation. If I don't pretend I'm Super Woman (but blonde, I'd totally rock that cape) it seems to be helping.

As I mentioned above today will be a long day. The Uxbridge Enforces Tyke Lacrosse team has won a practice run by the Toronto Rock. Dragging my boys there has proved difficult. It seems like I'll have a handful, but I never am confident until I see them in the flesh. I live in the West, why am I driving to Uxbridge? Because I'm a sucker the world's best media and player relations chickie. <-- sure is my official title.  I'm not sure how I am going to survive on my feet but I've got my brace to help stabilize my ankle.

I really think it makes the outfit. Compliments the skirt, and it matches my top (not shown). I joke around but as subtle as it is the brace has helped me a million times over. It is a great addition, those people over at Trainer's Choice sure know what they are doing. I really don't think I'd be walking as well as I am without it. This is also the only use my yoga mat has been getting lately. I've been doing some meditation as well, but not much. It sure looks lonely, hopefully I'll be able to spend more time with it soon.

I did the unspeakable last night and let myself loose in Bulk Barn. I can get very carried away when it comes to shopping, even if it is for bulk grocery items so I try not to do it too often.
Here's the list:

• coconut flour
• buckwheat flour
• raw macadamia nuts
• raw cashews
• raw hazelnuts
• chia seeds
• freeze dried strawberries
• coconut cashews

Okay so the last item may not be as healthy for me as the first seven, but O.M.G. were they good. Notice how I said that in the past tense? Oh yeah, they are all gone. A little help from Sonja, a lot of help from me. Did I want to buy a million more things? Sure did! I'll save that for the next time. I have big plans for the flours and will share with you recipes and photos once I cook (if they turn out).

Here's a question for you: Does it count as negative thoughts if you only internalize them? It's like a tree falling in the woods, of course it makes a noise but if no one is around to witness it you'll never know. So if no one knows I'm being a Negative Nelly, does it really count? Lauren, I can hear you right now preaching "more possy, less neggy". I'm working on it, and I'm very outwardly positive. My inside may be yelling and cussing like a sailor at my ankle, though.  I've always had a thing for men in uniform. Just sayin'.

Warm Fuzzies, straight up, with a twist

Hello sunny Tuesday morning! It's nice to see you.
Everything was made better by these fantastic shades I bought on Sunday.

How adorable do I look? Don't ask why my lips look huge, or why my mole is so prominent. I guess my face has a mind of it's own this morning.

Oh, it was fantastic too because of my yummy breakfast of a g-monster and raisin Ezekiel toast, slathered with almond butter. I love getting excited about making such healthy food, and even more excited about devouring it. On that note I have a stirfry with brown rice and chicken breast for lunch and a Coconut Cream Lara bar for a snack. I've been a cooking goddess, but still need more breakfast ideas. Lil help?  

After last night's workout I'm in a good deal of pain. The ankle has been iced and I'm taking it easy until my physio appointment tonight. I'm sure Steph will torture it again and stick even more teeny little needles into it. Yesterday was so worth it because pushing through the pain teaches you a lot of things. Muscle recognition, balance, and knowing that you are stronger than you think. Which was Megan's Monday Mantra yesterday. Girlie, it's very true and helped me push it to the max.

This week (and always, really) I'm focusing on the positive. It is far too easy to be negative. I'm looking forward to taking the difficult path of being awesome...and not a wiener. Some positive things I've done this week to help myself and others is applying for an energy exchange program at a yoga studio, and applied to be a "Big Sister". Now I just wait to hear back, and hopefully I'll be able to get both positions.

Warm fuzzies to all ya'll.  Oh, that gives me a great idea! Stay tuned.

Rehab is not for quitters

The gym tonight was all about my ankle. Nothing else.

I started on the bike. 10 minutes of struggling, but I got through it. Who knew that even peddling a bike would be so difficult?
Next was balance work. My good leg? no problem! My bad leg? was actually not that bad. Just don't as me to close my eyes, I'll topple right over.
Okay, enough standing! Work with resistance bands started with me tying it into my shoe lace and had my trainer hold it to apply the resistance. Flex and point, and side to side movements. Three sets of 20 reps.
The BOSU was my next challenge. Step onto the bad then (and try to) bounce off. These will get me ready for jumping. Boy did they hurt. After I was done 15 step ups I called it quits and decided to take a walk around the gym to stretch it out and keep myself from giving up. I stepped on with both feet and balanced away, trying to close my eyes from time to time.
Curtsy squats ended the routine, and I was very ready to get home and get off my feet.
I'm sitting here with my foot in ice and in a great deal of pain. I wouldn't change tonight's workout for anything, I know it will help me and I look forward to seeing the results very soon, and I have another physio appointment tomorrow.

Walking is much improved, I swear I'll be running in no time. I'm approaching week 4, so I guess I'm right on track.

That's What Friends Are For...

Thank goodness for friends! Today my lovely Lori got some spare time to read my blog. I'm so overwhelmed by the response of friends that have taken an interest in me as I am taking an interest in my healing. She had a few questions though, and I'll answer them for all of you and throw in a few more answers of questions I've been thinking of.

JSB? I guess jean-shorts-boy was as impressed with my Alfred Sung black and white dress and killer yellow pointed toe flats as I was with his jean shorts. Over.

That green thing? I found the recipe for the Green Monster on Angela's blog, that leads you to her other website dedicated to the GM. I know it's green, and looks nasty, but it is yummy and I can't wait to see the results. I know they're coming.

Alone forever? Supposedly I don't need to worry about this one at all. Lori has a plan, and might I add a VERY good plan. What do you think?

"Never be afraid of being alone because we're all in it together and sooner or later I intend for us all to pitch in on a mid-sized mansion where we'll all live like the Golden Girls."

Only downside is that I think we'll all be Blanche Devereaux. Well maybe Betty White, now that she's all feisty. It will be an exciting household; I can't wait.

Charge? My fee for pity parties fluctuate per event. Inquire with details for a quote. RFP's will be accepted as well. 

I hope everyone had a great weekend. Let me pick up from where I life you off on Saturday. I had a great time with the dance girls on Saturday night after my physio appointment. I made Insalata Caprese and couldn't help but sneak a few bites in before packing everything up.

 

I think basil has to be my favourite herb. It is so fresh, and I find it to be a palate cleanser almost similar to mint.

We had a blast, watched our show DVD and had plenty of girl talk. Then they all decided to brainstorm who they were going to set me up with. One of my favourite discussions is how other people will ask me why I'm single. Oh you know, I forgot, there is something wrong with me, I actually drink a big scoop of boyfriend repellent every morning. Matter of fact, I blend it in with my green monster for some extra protein. It's delicious, you should really try it sometime.... How humorous. I'm totally calling dibs on Blanche, girls.

Sunday I spent with sister. We met up with her friend for brunch and then shopped at Vaughn Mills. It was a great time. I bought an adorable new skirt and some pretty fantastic cheetah sunglasses. Oh and a dress from Banana, I channel Jackie O in it, well if she wore cheetah shades. The walk around the LARGE mall was slow, and I thankfully found two benches to rest at while Alli shopped. That evening I met with Lauren and Andrea for some more catching up and ice cream. We tried Mable Slab, I've never been, and though I try to keep dairy out of my diet ice cream has just been so difficult to kick. In all seriousness when you're upset nothing quite comforts like ice cream. A bowl full of berries wont turn my crank after a "lower point".

Oatmeal was on the menu for breakfast and today's snack time is a Peanut Butter and Jelly Larabar. 

I feel that since our names are so similar, it only makes sense that I enjoy them so much. They were basically made for me. I have a salad for lunch, and even threw in a few left over basil leaves as the greens.

I'm back to the gym tonight, and looking forward to doing some balancing exercises on the BOSU. I'm getting much stronger on my foot, and hopefully the walking will follow behind. I've made a date with Megan for Karma class on June 25. Hopefully we can book running dates soon too, but for now yoga sounds like a fantastic challenge. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm also going to clean off the old treadmill at home tonight. The belt sticks when you try to run on it, but I think it will be great to get me walking better. Low speeds, and maybe some incline.

Makes me say "what's up?"

Relay for Life was a very interesting last night. I don't mean that in a good way, lots of things went wrong and having a PR background I cringed at the lack of communication to participants over things everything. Lets just say the highlight was waiting in line for two hours to get a hamburger without knowing why. Alli may disagree but I think I did an okay job of keeping my temper and moodiness under wraps during the time. I was much better than I normally am. And the burger? Sucked! After all that, I'm now boycotting HERO Burger. Not like I've actually eaten there before.

Though I still believe chimps would have organized a better event, we did enjoy time with Mimi.

We seem to like this pose, but we've changed it up a bit. The first one has sunglasses, and in the second one we change sides and take off the shades. 

i

I'm on my way to physio. After a lot of standing and walking yesterday night I'm in a bit of pain. This healing thing is taking a lot longer than I expected and is taking a lot out of me. 

One thing that I noticed yesterday, probably because I was surrounded by a lot of people, was the way that I'm looked at me for how I'm walking. I have a very lopsided, staggering multi-level walk because of the amount of, or lack there of, weight I can put on my ankle. When I had the crutches people were nice, opened doors, offered to hold things. I was overwhelmed by their gracious attention. Now that I am crutchless I just get stares. People look afraid of me, that there is something wrong with me. This morning when walking around my neighborhood Alli and mom both noticed how one woman just gawked at me. I was a a caged animal out in civilization.  The three of us were pretty disgusted. I'm not trying to say I'm a saint, but I've never notice if someone walks fine, or has no legs, etc. People are just like snowflakes....we're all very pretty. Plus, why be a critic of someone else when you can put that energy into something useful for yourself?

I'm getting together with my dance group this evening. We are going to watch the DVD of our show and share some yummy treats. I'm going to try to make it to the gym in the afternoon to bike a bit more and get moving. Hopefully more positive vibes come out today.

Step One: we can have lots of fun

Happy Friday! Who doesn't love a NKOTB reference? My goodness this sunny day sure makes me want to run and play outside.

Yesterday Megan and I were emailing and she was telling me about the 10k races she and Adam are going to run in preparation for her Half-Marathon. She's beyond inspiring to talk to and her motivation for her races and determination in life in general is pretty infectious. The greatest this about Megan?(hard to pick just one) You want to make yourself a better person being her friend.

This got me thinking and researching a few more races. Looking at the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront it struck me that it was my BIRTHDAY WEEKEND! With the theme of improvement and betterment of self this year, what better way to celebrate than running!? I surely couldn't think of one. Hip-hip-hooray for 25! The treat of the whole thing is that Lauren (fellow September baby and PR superstar) had been considering a run in the fall and my perfectly timed excitement got her hooked. She's in! I'm pumped. Lauren has credited me in the past for being her inspiration to get healthy, sadly I wasn't the greatest role model and slipped back. Funny though how life works, Lauren is now my muse in health and fitness. Couldn't think of a better partner in crime for that day. We both know all too well what each other has gone through, since we lived it.

The hardest part? Was actually signing up. I had all of my information filled out, and just blinked at the screen. I couldn't press send. It made things all too real, and I'm still living fearful of my ankle. I'm letting it hold me back. I don't know how fast I can run, what bracket to put myself in, or even how I'll be doing in a few months time. I'm getting really good at panicking. Enter sister, the non-runner with no intent to run. This girl has some wicked advice and is straight to the point.
Ready for this? Here we go:

"That's a great goal...once you can start running again you'll time yourself. I know it's important to you to do well, but the planet isn't gonna explode if you run your first race ever at 29:01."

How simple, how true. Even if I didn't believe her (which I totally do, Alli. It was amazing help). Last night's fortune cookie agrees with her.

Cookies never lie!

Sister and cookie pep-talk taken to heart. I pressed send. It's official, I'm running on September 26, 2010. Two days after I turn 25, I'll be hustling my fine ass from the Ex grounds to City Hall.

Tonight is Relay for Life, an event that my family has been doing for the last six years. My Mimi, my grandmother without the blood relation, is a survivor and is over six years cancer-free. She may just be my favourite person to ever exist and I know, without a doubt in my mind, that she is the most interesting person I've ever listened to. Our team "Mimi's Angel's" has raised over $20,000 in the six years, and is the second highest raising group at our location this year. I'm very proud of my team, and very thankful for those who support my grandma.
How cute are we?

Gosh, she makes me smile; I can't wait for tonight. Only bad thing is that I won't be doing much "relaying", a lot more sitting. I've learned over the last six years that the running part doesn't matter, it's all about family and laughter. It looks like the weather will hold out though...we've NEVER had a relay that it hasn't rained. I'm liking our odds.

Oh update on my green monster fiascoes:
Mission 'successful smoothie' was in full effect last night. I stopped by Starbucks last night after leaving the gym and stumbled upon the perfect reusable cup. Look at this mornings GM:

It is contained with a twist on securing lid to hopefully decrease spilling accidents and has a straw. I was in Grande slurping heaven.

Oatmeal for breakfast, and brown rice with loads of veggies for lunch. I'm super hungry today, so I'll probably need another snack before we head over to Relay. Thanks to some fabulous sponsors and volunteers there is never a shortage of food there.

What are you doing with your weekend? What is your best Birthday spoil?

Starbucks and Sanity

Another milestone...it's now been 3 weeks with this lovely injury. 'How does it feel?' you ask. Well lets just say it's in a brace resting on an upside down garbage can with an icepack tucked into it.

Another Green Monster to start the day off. The recipe yields too much goodness for a regular glass so this morning I decided to put it into my Fresh glass jar.

Yup, I'm thinking exactly what you are. That looks nasty. Another downside to it? It's too tall for straws. I really don't like the feeling of knocking back a smoothie, I'm a textures person and this morning my skin is crawling from my no-straw performance. This vessel just will not do. Back to the drawing board, I'll need to find something big with a straw. I have something in mind. I'll let you know once I find it...and if it works as fantastically as I think it will. 

I also stopped at Starbucks this morning to get myself a tall vanilla soy latte. I needed a little treat and pick-me-up since yesterday night, though so magical and enjoyable, was pretty rough.

On Tuesday I kept my very tired eyes open until midnight to take advantage of The National Ballet's DanceBreak program. I was very excited for my Row L seat in the centre of the theatre for only $25. It is MUCH easier to get tickets with DanceBreak when you are only looking for one. I now had my ticket to the Spring Repertoire that included  Pur ti Miro (a world premiere), Opus 19/The Dreamer, and West Side Story Suite.

 Did I mention, HOORAY!?

Let me turn into a ballet critic for a moment, if you have no interest please skip this paragraph:
Though I was just over joyed by WSSS since it was a musical ballet...YES, you heard me! Singing and ballet in Converse sneakers with jazz hands....I was really taken by Jorma Elo's Pur ti Miro. The Finnish choreographer is known for his ridiculous speed of movement and contemporary style. To watch these prima ballerina's dancing contemporary style in traditionally classical ballet attire of dance belts and straight tu-tus at the breakneck speed of light just threw me. I was in awe. Three words for you: A-Ma-Zing. I smiled like a goof and giggled at his comedic transitions. I must admit this is nothing new for me, last year when I went to see Cinderella I was at the edge of my seat with excitement and even let out (unknown to me, I had to be told) a brief romantic sigh when Cinderella and the Prince kiss.

Now, I'm used to doing things on my own. I credit myself for being a very independent chick and I actually enjoy taking myself out. If you have never done it, I suggest you try it, just once, to see how it feels and if you can endure it. Last night was not one of those nights for me. At dinner I was seated at a table beside an older lady. Blonde, a bit chubby, alone, looked sad. That was enough to send me into a whirlwind of panic. I was now sitting alone staring at this woman who was my future. I was convinced that I would be alone forever (still a bit am) and I was about a 53 on the anxiety scale. Thank goodness that the ballet has the positive effect it does on me, the show started 20 minutes later and I forgot all about my attack because now I wasn't alone I was part of this creative world. Yes, capital cheese, just be glad you aren't the unlucky soul beside me at these things. After the ballet ended I walked across the street to City Hall and just sat by the water fountain.

I snapped these for you to see:

City Hall buildings:

The night air was cool and still, and there was just a hint of fog high up in the sky blurring the lights from towering office buildings, I felt like I was in a dream. As I looked around everything just seemed perfect. Beautiful. But there I was again, alone, and boy did I feel it. I sat there on a bench and a few tears started to fall. It's okay they were pretty, like all those fake tears in the movies. What a Blockbuster setting for it too. That's when my movie ended, the anxiety and panic rushed back and opened the flood gates. It wasn't just crying, I was sobbing on a bench, a very public bench. Odd thing was, I didn't care. Usually I try to cry in private because there is no crying in baseball (and I'd have to only assume there REALLY is no crying in lacrosse), it's just a sign of weakness right!? But there I sat on this bench, Kleenex in hand, matching the stunning waterworks in front of me. The sky opened and it began to rain, I quickly attempted to compose myself and drove home. I managed to pour myself into bed at midnight and pushed my alarm back to 8:00 a.m. to let me rest.

I took my time getting ready this morning, and the white and green cup in hand is mellowing me out a bit. I'm suffering from an emotional hangover. I am heading back to the gym tonight after work to battle the stationary bike again, and some more free weights of some sort. Momma and I are going to go out for dinner tonight for some 'us' time. I'm sure I'll write about my mom at some point on here, but the short story version is she's crazy, but I'm identical to her, looks and all.

I know this blogging is probably not what you're used to (whoever you are). I read all these health blogs of women who are on the right path after their string of "lower points". They are doing great, are healthy and on track. As you've noticed, this isn't that. As it's titled, I'm not on the right track, and all of my eggs? Are in different baskets. I'm trying to deal, find an outlet to help, and really have more than just my ankle to heal. This is a big life shake up, and it needs to be done. Who knows, maybe down the road, I'll be one of those girls? I'll be blogging with my shit together.