I pride myself on being a tough cookie - I've sat through french braids, self eyebrow waxes, walking into numerous walls, painful bikini waxes, and lots and lots of physio time - but this is a pain I've never felt before.
The process of my ankle injection, though tedious, is very interesting. They removed three vials of blood from my arm, and spun it in a centrifuge to separate the proteins. Once separated, the platelet rich plasma (which ends up a milky yellowish colour) is combined in a syringe that is attached to a VERY long needle. From there I was brought upstairs to see the Ultrasound technician. With her magic wand, and a lot of goo, Wendy found exactly where my cartilage damage was and measured how far down to inject me. Dr. HottiePants came in next, found the injection spot, then inflicted crazy amount of pain. He inserted the needle about 12 mm into my ankle, going into the joint and coming out the tendon, bathing both with the PRP. Dr. HottiePants then held my ankle (thank god I shaved my legs in the morning) and patted me better after bandaging me up.
The pain stuck around for the entire night. I tried to relax and rest, but that didn't happen. Walking was difficult and I was limping around, similar to week three when I just came off the crutches.
After waking up the pain has subsided and it was easier to move around yesterday and today. I'm afraid to take off the bandages, and will leave them on for at least one more night. I'm not sure why I think they are better on but I won't question my neurotic thoughts...it usually just gets me in trouble (Plus, I've got enough to think about lately, a bandage isn't on the top of the list).
Can I mention here that this post has taken almost 24 hours to write? Words will not come out of me right now, which is a bit scary since I'm sure I have a few press releases to write today for work. I'm tired, I'm in pain, I WOKE UP SICK! I sound very horse and am coughing. Not impressed! It is one of those days where all you dream to do once you wake up is go back to sleep. My elastic-ankled sweats seem like the perfect choice for today. Alas, I'm in a pencil skirt.
Krista and I had a discussion last night about the effects of negative thought and the backlash from "could, should, wish, want" talk. The physiological response your body has when you "wish you could" do something and then never follow through is toxic.
So I left the gym with a goal (#2 for the week): write down every time that I use "could, should, want or wish" in a sentence.
I've found myself about to say these words, and I'd stop. (I'm attempting for a very short list) When you don't even secret that kind of talk into the universe, it helps stay positive. When I do end up using one of these words it brings up a lot of thought. Why do I think I want to, or wish to, or could use to, or should do something? Oh, it's been a cozy place to stay in the deepest caverns of my mind. (I'll take Empire Records song lyrics for $1,000, Alex).
Good news? I'm still off track, nowhere close to being one of those "shit together" bloggers. You wouldn't want that from me anyway.
Green Monster has returned for breakfast:
Lunch is the world's greatest salad from Whole Foods, with greens, dried cranberries, walnuts and Gorgonzola cheese. Yum!
I may also have a Fruit and Nut bar in my bag from the weekend that is calling my name. I never see anything wrong with chocolate in the morning, but maybe I'll wait to crack into it till after my salad. Maybe!
I'm off to talk lacrosse, be a superstar, and enjoy my Wednesday. Have a powerful day!
Any tips of how you stay positive even when feeling shitty or dealing with life piling onto you?
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