Pretty, pretty, princess...hungry, hungry, hippo?

I'm a sleepy kitten. A VERY sleepy kitten, actually.

I kept myself up all night worrying about my stupid ankle. Is there cartilage damage? What have I really done to it? What will the MRI say?  It went on like that for hours. When I tried to distract myself from thinking about my ankle, I started arguing in my head about what the better nickname was: Princess Panic or Captain Panic? (I still don't know which one I like more) That also went on for hours.

As much as I want to know what is wrong so I can fix it. I'm afraid of what the outcome could be. I really don't want to resort to surgery. I deal much better with holistic health. Or as sister calls it: that hippie shit.

I'm very ready to crash, but no such luck. Today has to be one of the craziest days I've had in a while. I'm going to get my MRI requisition from Steph's other clinic today at 3:30ish, then the dentist at 4:50, then day 2 of yoga training from 7:15-11:15. I'd like to be able to take one of the two offered classes tonight, but I'm afraid I won't have the energy to get through it...or the ankle strength. My ankle looks more like an ankle than a grapefruit right now, but the pain just won't quit.

I'm excited for my four-day weekend, and the opportunity to sleep tomorrow. I also have taken on the challenge of vegan baking for Megan and family's Canada Day BBQ. Whole Foods was the one-stop shop to buy all the perfect ingredients! While I was there, I also picked up some lunch. My stuffed pepper will now act as dinner somewhere between the dentist and yoga.

Grilled salmon and a mess load of greens. Notice my gorgeous flower plate I picked up yesterday?

If I don't take a yoga class today, I'm not sure I'll fit in a workout (maybe for the best). Though my body (read: ankle) thanks me, I'm not sure my piggy bank does. Maybe I can talk sister into a walk tomorrow while my baking is on the window sill cooling? Alli, that's a hint to bring home something to go for a walk in.

Not sure if I'll be able to check in with you tomorrow, so if not Happy Canada Day! Enjoy the fireworks! I can't wait to spend the day surrounded by my sis, one of my besties, and some fantastic family!

Musical Chairs

Hey my peeps! So much to share today, I don't even know where to start.

Yesterday was mom's 59th birthday! Holy moley! She's far too cute to be 59, I don't even believe it.

Don't we look identical? I'd be happy to look like her when I'm 59. Her sister sent her an Edible Arrangements for her birthday, not knowing she'd be at the cottage instead of home. The narc and I had the duty of eating it before it got too ripe. Dark chocolate is full of antioxidants, right?

It's been a very delicious two days. The box is now empty, if you were wondering.

I told you last night about needing to assign pricing to my workouts for my workout piggy bank. Well, tada!

Training w/Krista or "Day 3" = $2
Run over 5 km = $2
Yoga - 75 or 90 mins = $2
Yoga - 60 mins = $1
Walk over 5 km = $1
Elliptical/Bike over 20 minutes = $1
Run 3-5 km = $1
Group fitness class (step, zumba, etc.) = $1
Walk 3-5 km = $0.50
Elliptical/Bike under 20 mins = $0.50

I earned myself $3 last night by training with Krista (2), 15 minutes on the elliptical (0.50) and going for a 3.5km walk with dad (0.50).

I just HAD to get a cute vessel for my earnings, and found this antique looking sugar jar from the Dollar Store. It's perfect, such a sweet reward...it's my sugar ;)

I also stopped off at Homesense on my way to physio today. Not for any particular reason, just because I love looking around. Every time I'm there I want to buy a chair. I fear when I get a place of my own I'll just have a whole bunch of random chairs from Homesense. At least I can have lots of company; no one will be able to cuddle though. I ended up picking out two plates and a bowl. All of which were on sale. They will spice up my food a bit, add some beauty to my nutrition.

Physio was next, more needles, more electro-current and more bad news. I'm being sent for an MRI because Steph isn't happy with what she feels and sees when she is manipulating my ankle. After five weeks and five days, it should be healing better. I'm not excited about the news. I am pretty distraught, actually. I think my friend Kevin put it into perspective for me by saying that at least with an MRI I will get a clear picture (literally) of what is wrong. This way I can properly fix the issue since I'll know what it is. Thanks, Kev!

After physio, the original plan was to go to the gym and get on the elliptical, all I wanted to do was go back to Homesense and buy some chairs for comfort. I settled for a walk with dad, and earned me another $0.50 of sugar.

p.s. If you haven't listened to "Lay Me Down" by Dirty Heads, you should! I firmly believe I am the green-eyed girl in the song! Just sayin'

Turn the beat around

I get so excited at the idea of new things. Throwing myself into commitments is exhilarating. Once I finally go, I become as nervous as I was after my first real kiss.

Detour: It was at the end of gr. 9 and I was kissed by my bestfriend's (at the time) brother in the dark after we finished watching Little Mermaid. Needless to say, it was magical! After we kissed I went to the bathroom and shook uncontrollably. I was so smooth even back then. After events like this, should I still wonder why my love life has unfolded like it has?

I had my first day of yoga studio volunteering last night and my stomach was in my throat before I stepped in the door. I was being trained by 3 very teeny girls, in very teeny pairs of Wonder Unders. I was in mine too, not as teeny. It turned out to be a blast, and I took a class. I modified it - lots of modifications - and took child's pose more often than not. Cleaned up the studio and chatted with some new kind souls before heading back to Casa Bridgman.

After I got home, and dried off from the downpour I decided to make stuffed peppers. It was very spur of the moment, and turned the ground turkey I had defrosting in the fridge intended for turkey burgers into part of the mixture for my waiting red peppers. I would usually insert a photo here, but was too occupied telling myself not to gobble up all the mixture before even stuffing the peppers. I ate one for lunch, but was too excited to finally get a taste that I didn't pose for a photo-op then either.

So I'm pretty proud of myself for proving I can work hard for the weight-loss again. But with great power comes great responsibility, right Peter? Welcome back panic. I had an overwhelming sense of doom last night after yoga that I won't be able to continue my progress. Most likely because I could feel my heart beating in my ankle, and the pain radiating out my ears. I tried to calm myself by logging-in to Spark People to read about motivation since I needed as much help as I could get. I stumbled upon this: Turning It around When You're Spiraling Out of Control. Good timing much?

The writer gives a few ways that she is able to turn things around when she is in her "lower points". Though, I don't find all five points helpful, the main message hit me. "The BEST thing you can do for yourself is to treat yourself well," she writes. How simple a thought, but it's so easy to forget. I have often treated myself like junk, both on purpose and not. Shouldn't I be #1? I really think so!

I'll need to start brainstorming some new great ways to treat myself well. My usual go-to is pedicures, but no one is touching my feet until my ankle is healed. As I've mentioned often, I love rewards. A firm believer of gifts for me for being awesome.  They can get expensive, but I really really like them. Enter Angela's blog about a workout piggy bank. Oh, really life? You're playing this game with me? I love signs, thank you! I'll pay myself for working out. Heck yes, I can! Save up for something pretty...oh like a new running outfit for my 5k! Perfect! Goal set, now I just need to set prices for each workout. Do you think my workouts are worth more while I'm injured? Would someone like to sponsor me instead? This is already hard work.

p.s. So I'm just a huge bundle of excitement, layoff. I'll return to my normal bitter, sarcastic self shortly I'm sure.

That's right put in work, move your ass, go berserk

I lost 5 pounds! And I'm not looking to find it.

It has been one week since I've stepped on the scale.  It wasn't a problem to keep me away this time, but when I was getting healthy (read: hot) the last time, I wanted to weigh three times a day.

I could possibly blame the first weight on cramps, water retention and generally being a tubby, but whatever it was I took ownership of it. I was the only one that made me this way. I also take full responsibility for my progress. I am proud of me. I have worked hard for it. The progress makes me fully realize one thing: the way you eat is the majority of the reason for weight loss (or gain).

Sure, I have been more active this week than the last few - biking, yoga, elliptical, walks - but I'm still not doing all that much and still not moving all that quickly. My major change? has been my eating habits. I'm turning into a bunny I've eaten so much spinach lately, and everything is freshly made with clean, wholesome ingredients. Portions have been kept in check, and water has been consumed like its going out of business.

At the same time I haven't deprived myself of anything. I had two very sugary alcoholic drinks at Jam, I made pasta one day, I'll still include carob chips in things.  I just have a better outlook. I don't zone out before I put food in my mouth. I enjoy every mouthful, and fight my stupid cravings.

Speaking of carbo chips. I made a batch of Megan's Simple Vegan Granola Squares just like I said I would after I devoured the ones she gave me. I didn't have any dried fruit but had the rest of the ingredients on hand so they were whipped up yesterday morning.

 

I also made a bunch of Almond Chicken Fingers from my Delicious Detox cookbook.

It's pretty simple:

• Cut boneless, skinless chicken breast into fingers
• Measure 1/2 cup of ground almonds onto a plate (I ground whole almonds in my spice grinder, worked great!)
• Pat the fingers in the ground almonds on both sides and lay on a non-stick cookie sheet
• Drizzle olive oil lightly over the fingers 
• Bake in a 450 degree oven for 12-15 minutes

So simple, so delish!

I'm going for my first training session at the yoga studio tonight. I'm so excited to be part of their community and once I can get going, I can't wait to try out power yoga. I'll bring my mat with me just in case tonight!

The ankle is probably about a 9 on the pain scale again. As the swelling goes down the pain goes up, and I don't like it one bit. Physio on Tuesday night, hopefully I don't cut off my foot for relief before then.

Baby, You Can't Doubt It

Leave it all on the mat.

The popular saying in yoga is supposed to help you set intentions and keep a positive frame of mind in class and beyond. Leave all the stress, the pain, the "can't" on your mat, and don't take it with you.

My mat is very heavy after tonight's class.

I struggled through poses, and lost my balance. I didn't quite flow through poses, instead lifted and adjusted and wobbled. I wasn't the yogi I know and love. I'm okay with all of it, because as my amazing yoga date Megan said, you'll sweat no matter what. 

I was full of positive self talk tonight and switched between "it's okay, you're doing great", "you can do it" and "you're stronger than you think". It was a 60 minute class - lots of mind talking happened.

I left class very sweaty, in pain, a little bit lighter of baggage, with a care package from Meg. Date night with her is a gift enough, but I was greeted with her smile, a huge hug, a Kombucha Wonders Drink (Lemon, yum!) and two of her Simple Vegan Granola Squares.

Along with another huge glass of water, I drank down half the bottle of tea and I gobbled up the smaller of the two granola squares. The peanut butter and oatmeal mix is amazing and I can't wait to make a batch of my own. The second square is calling my name, I'm trying to tell myself that it will taste better tomorrow, hopefully I can hold off.

I have five minutes of icing left, then more water and lots of sleep. 

I'll leave you with one more warm fuzzy. After Andrea and I went to dinner on Wednesday we stopped by my office because I forgot a few things. While searching through one of my desk drawers today, I found a little note Andrea left me. Wow! I have amazing friends.

Can you read her chicken scratch? it says "You're Special. (not in a short bus way)"

Shake and bake, etc.

Tonight was a very successful night.

Physio was more poking and more needles.

 Yeah, it doesn't look quite like an ankle yet, a few extra bumps that aren't usually involved. I'm walking almost normally again and Steph said that if I feel comfortable I should try the elliptical. Waaayyy ahead of her.

Gym was next. Got back on the elliptical, and it got easier today. I motored through 20 minutes, no song required. I felt my heart beating, and I was sweating. It was rough, but it got done. The entire time I was giving myself a pep talk, mostly positive with the occasional "move your ass fat girl" thrown in for an extra push.  I got an hour of weight training in afterward and could do squats again. I was feeling like a million bucks.

I was going to go back on the elliptical to end the night, but dad needs some motivation to get moving, so I came home and told him we should go for a walk. It wasn't long and it wasn't fast but we walked about 2.5 km. That's longer than either of us has done in a while probably.

When we got home from the walk I decided to be a domestic goddess and attack the kitchen.

I told you I had big things planned for the flours I bought at the Bulk Barn last week, and boy did they deliver. I've made two batches of pancakes, the first were Blueberry Buckwheat and the second were Blueberry Coconut. Both absolutely delicious.

Tonight I prepared a HUGE batch of Blueberry Coconut pancakes. Some for tomorrow's breakfast and some to freeze for the future.

Ingredients:
3/4 cup whole-wheat flour
3/4 cup coconut flour (or buckwheat flour)
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 salt
1 3/4 cup almond milk
2 eggs
2 tablespoons canola oil (I substituted 1 tbsp flax oil & 1 tbsp fish oil)
1 tablespoon honey
1 cup blueberries

In a large bowl mix flours, baking powder, baking soda and salt.
In a separate bowl whisk almond milk, eggs, oil, and honey.

Mix the wet into the dry ingredients then add the blueberries. I cook them in a non-stick pan until golden brown on each side.

Don't they look so good? I'm so pumped for breakfast tomorrow. I was craving something sweet for tonight, so I decided to whip up one of Gracie's solo cookies. She made her's with white chocolate and macadamia nuts. I made mine with carbo chips and coconut.

I'm pretty impressed with myself today on all fronts. Now it's time to get acquainted with my ice.

Five bad boys with the power to rock you

Today marks five weeks of struggling through this adventure. Slow and steady, but I've yet to win the race. I think I'm just a bit worse for wear.

I'm actually in screaming pain right now. The bondage brace is off and I'm trying desperately not to go cross-eyed (both out of pain and boredom). I long for week two and three when I was in swollen, painless bliss. I may have walked funny, but I sure didn't hurt like this. Ibuprofen down the hatch (don't tell the narc) hopefully they kick in soon. The narc aka my dad is a regulator of over the counter medicine. He reads every label and follows the hour and dosage suggestions to a tee. I? open my mouth and swallow until the pain stops.

Andrea and I discussed last night the importance of good advice. We came to the conclusion that her fortune cookie gave better advice than her boytoy. I know the people in my life that I go to when I want to be coddled, those who will give me direct advice, and I know the people that will just listen and nod and smile. My mother is usually the first or the last person, I flop myself into her lap and she pets my head like I'm the puppy. When she's in a mood, she'll be far too honest with you and I caught her in that mood last night. I made her a latte and we chatted a bit about the progress of my ankle. She was blown away at how normal I was walking. I expressed the amount of pain I was in, and how I was worried about healing and running. What came out of her mouth was not expected:

"You won't be running in that race. You wont be ready, you wont be running." 

Gee thanks mom! I can always count on you to stay the right thing. Who is supposed to coddle me now? Thank goodness for my beyond positive attitude, I told her that I WILL be running, that my ankle does not have a choice in the matter nor the deciding vote and then stuck my tongue out at her. The six year old inside me wins again. Triumph!

I brought my Monster Paws with me to work today, it may be more appropriate to wear those than be constantly barefoot. Not one really minds, but I still don't think it's right. Plus, I dress too preppy to be a hippie. Black dress shirt and khaki shorts today, adorable!

Today's title comes from my fav. boy band of 1998 - 5ive!
Enjoy!