This little piggy...

Day 4: back to normal.

Guess who was waterworks again in yoga class? You betcha, this girl.

Lets start back from the beginning, since yoga ended my night.

Work went well, a bit distracted from tasks at hand, but it all got done. I was excited to get to the gym and get shuffling on the treadmill. Great idea, right? Wrong! OUCH OUCH OUCH. I made it 0.3 miles before my ankle was yelling at me to stop. I couldn't take one more step, it wanted none of it. I have to listen to my body when it tells me "no more". I don't want to make the injury (18 weeks tomorrow) any worse. I pushed weights for another hour before taking a breather.

I needed to settle myself and couldn't think of a better way then to take yoga class. Great thing that I had planned on the 9:30 class. It started off great, I was flowing, I was sweating. Then my foot started to tingle, actually sting. Know when your foot falls asleep so bad that it aches? Times it by 10, add 10383200395045 and we aren't even close to what my left foot felt like. The nerve that runs along the side of the leg, through the ankle and splits between piggies "wee wee wee" and "had none" was throwing up its best resistance tonight. WWIII in my left foot.

Kind of creepy!

That made things a little more difficult, and when we finally hit pigeon pose I lost it. I've mentioned a few times about how emotions are held in the hips and when we stretch them out, we also air out what we are holding onto. So along with the pain in my hips, I let out everything I was feeling. I let out the aches and pains of my body, I let out the overwhelming stress I'm still holding in my job, I let out the pity I have for myself that my ankle still doesn't want to heal, I let out the sadness that knows I won't be able to run the race I'm registered for on Sunday, I let out the resentment I have for myself for always managing to screw life up.

In short, I balled my eyes out in pigeon pose - face hidden on a block.

I'm home in my comfy sweats with a big mug of tea. I'm going to meditate and get to bed. Tomorrow I may not practice. I will listen to my body and see how I feel. Birthday dinner at The Keg, and I'm going to enjoy ever last bite.

Namaste!

Tonight I'll have a look

Happy Monday, ya'll!

It's going to be a very busy week, but it's exciting because it's my BIRTHDAY WEEK! Hooray! My birthday is on Friday.

Okay, need to calm myself down now (which I am convinced will never be possible, even with so much yoga ahead of me).

Day 2 on my personal revolution: I decided to see where I could push myself to.

I woke up feeling pretty good, not many aches and pains from a long class. I dressed for work, packed my lunch, packed my gym bag, and my yoga mat and was out the door.

Monday is a crazy day in the office, but as promised I left at 5:00 on the dot for my appointment with myself. I struggled through the gym, and was actually pretty grumpy. My back was hurting and I was a sour puss. Not a good start to a night that had no end in sight. After an hour of pushing weight I flew out the door and headed to the studio.

I wasn't too hopeful for class knowing how poorly weight training went, but I eased through the positions and sweat, sweat, sweat. The heat really helped mold out my back and stretch my aching muscles. Except my hips, holy lordy there are yelling at me today. I have a lot more pigeon pose to do.

Hurts sooooo good (source)

Hip stretches hurt sooo good. As my beloved Eoin Finn would say "it feels like ice cream being licked off your body". Wait, what?! I know! How the pain of hip stretches feels like being licked, I'll never know. Mr. Finn has always been a weird dude. 

So in the excitement of my birthday week, and being spoiled rotten, I have some serious planning to do because things are getting crazy this week. One of the reasons I'm glad I don't have a social life is because it interferes with my planning.

We just went over what today looked like.
Tuesday: work, Leafs game, meditation
Wednesday: work, gym, yoga, meditation
Thursday: work, gym, family dinner, yoga, meditation
Friday: work, Jays game, meditation
Saturday: my day! no plans, hoping for brunch and a pedicure, yoga, meditation
Sunday: race, yoga, 40 day meeting, birthday celebrations, meditation

I need to fit one more yoga class in there somewhere and not sure if I cram it in tomorrow or Friday. I'm not loving the idea of taking an early morning class so maybe I'll just practice at home and make up for it next week.

I'm not leaving much free time for me this week, but I think it is important to get into the swing of things and then let everything settle.

I have a strong feeling I'll ache tomorrow.

Stumped at what you should get me for my birthday? Here's the wishlist:

I'm off to meditate before bed. Peace and love and all that hippie shit!

Little darling, it seems like years

Today started a new challenge. A 40 day one.

Before I get to that, I'll catch you up on my absence. It has been a whirlwind three weeks in the life of me. I quit a job, I started a new job. I learned a new job, and haven't slept or ate. I yoga'd and gymed and painted my nails. I drove myself crazy trying to please everyone, and final realized that the only person I need to answer to is me.

I even ran for the first time since the ankle injury. On my 17 week hurt-aversery I took to the road for 0.5 miles. Short but sweet; I loved every second of it. I am very proud of myself. Tomorrow I'm hoping for a mile or two. My ankle is feeling pretty good, with the occasional twinge or tingle. I expected it to hurt a lot after the run, but it didn't react. Can you believe it? I'm starting to heal and build strength.

After all that, I can't even begin to explain how much I've missed blogging. So now I'm barely adjusting to the new life, I need to start scheduling again.  Writing is definitely going to be included.

So back to my 40 days...

Today was Day 1 of the Baron Baptiste 40 Days to a Personal Revolution. It's a program run at Power Yoga Canada, the studio I volunteer at on Sundays. It is meant to radically change your body and awaken the sacred within your soul.

Each day focuses on asana practice (go go yoga), meditation, diet and personal reflection. 

While going through the six weeks, this program is supposed to reveal mental clarity, lightness of body, and an illumination of spirit.

Who'd pass on that? I couldn't! I signed up the first day it was open for registration. 

Day 1: we got acquainted.

I am one of 28 lovelies signed up to take this journey. There are only three men, but that is three more than I expected.

We were then split up into groups of four that will act as our support system during the 40 days. I was lucky enough to be grouped with a very diverse group: one male, one mom, one super yogi, and me.

The first reflection was to state what you are letting go, and state what you are committed to have a breakthrough in.

This is where I took it (and by that I mean, I had to stand up in the middle of the circle and share with everyone):

I am letting go of my negative self talk.

Think the worst thought...then multiply it. That's me. I don't trust myself, I second guess every decision, I talk down, I internalize.

I am committed to having a breakthrough in my relationship with myself.

I am the ultimate people pleaser. I do what I can to make everyone else happy....and then neglect me. I pledge to make appointments with myself. I will sleep, I will eat good food, I will go to the gym, I will go to yoga, I will meditate, I will see my friends, I will laugh and enjoy. I will stop stressing myself out, and straining my sanity to appease others.

I told you, so I guess I have to stick to it!

I also took a 75 minute class. There will be lots and lots of yoga in my future. Part of the program is to practice six days a week. I also have to meditate everyday, journal, and go to weekly meetings. Yeah, I see it a bit like group therapy...two women cried today. There is a lot of deep shit that will come out and I'm happy to be a part of it all. I am staying open to the whole process until October 29. It terrifies me to show other people my weaknesses, but it is the only way that I will be able to grow. I'll need to get exposed if I want to be fixed. I can't remember who said it, but they said it best: you have to feel if you want to heal.

Want to learn more? Check it out HERE 

Oh, I'm also going to be one of the social media contributors for the studio. I've started them a YouTube page. Check me out:



I'm off to meditate for the night before rest. I'm leaving the office at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow because I've scheduled a gym appointment at 6 and a yoga class at 7:30. I have a stuffed pepper waiting in the fridge for tomorrow's lunch. Planning gold star.

I've missed you so much and am happy to be back. Thanks for being here for me as I heal and grow.

Both sides of the fence

Today was another leap and bound in yoga class.
I've mastered bakasana.

Bakasana (source)

Or better known as crow pose.

It is something I've only attempted a few times, and they have been sweaty and slippery attempts. Today, after toweling off and wearing longer tights, I mastered it. It was my ah-ha moment and I loved it! Now if I could only do shoulder stand and plow without strangling myself with my boobs. It's really no fun cutting off the air supply.

Good news - no tears, not a lot of pain in the ankle.
Bad news - morning workouts don't agree with me. Be it in the gym or yoga studio, I just get too queasy.  Today was so exception. Not enough calories in = dizzy and pukey in yoga class. 

My ankle actually looks better than it has since this whole thing started.

It actually looks like an ankle again!!!

The weirdest part is that with a well placed touch, I can still send off the nerve that runs into my pinky toe. Its a very tingly and odd sensation. That will need to go away soon. 108 days...yeah, it could have disappeared anytime.

I've been pretty mean to my body lately. Not working out often (I'm still afraid to run) and not eating very well. I have to put myself through another detox, because something I'm eating is causing intense headaches again. I'm thinking it is dairy, which has slowly creeped back into my diet thanks to ice cream and cheese. I will miss both of you dearly, but you are no good for me.

That won't start tonight though - there is ice cream to be eaten. Once that is done, I can start. How can someone be part Italian and not eat dairy? I know, but I've done it before and it didn't kill me (just a mild wound and longing), so here we go again. 

Any tips on how to care again about cooking and cleansing and the such?

For my music fans, please listen to the Jackson Square album by the Arkells.

I love you to tears

Today marks 102 days of ankle injury! We are closing in on 15 weeks.

That is a lot of time and I am still not healed. The good news is that I haven't seen Steph for two weeks. Our schedules don't match up, but it's not the worst thing because I'm not feeling an insane amount of pain. It seems to actually be getting better and I can go longer than three days without needing a physio session.

On Wednesday at the Jays game I walked up a tall flight of stairs and only clued in at the top that I should be taking it easy because of the ankle. There was no struggle. I didn't need both feet on a single stair. I felt accomplished, and very proud of myself that I could finally tackle them.

That being said, I'm still not 100%. I twinge, and the pain radiates, and I can't wait for it to go away. I know I'll be one of those people that feels weather change in my joints, and I know that the few bumps on my ankle are not likely to disappear.

After a long hiatus (almost 2 weeks) and a hint from my aching hips, I tackled the yoga studio again last night. Guess what? I cried! Of course I cried, that last class was a fluke. It feels nice to be back to my normal crazy self. It wasn't the first cry of the day either. I went to church with my Mimi earlier in the day and balled my way through the entire service as well. Tears are really beginning to be a common theme here on (o)TRT.

Well since I've started, I might as well continue with the water works. If you visit here often, you'll know that it hasn't been the easiest summer for my family. In the matter of a month we have lost five people very dear to our hearts, and have found out very sad news about another sweet little girl. It all takes such a toll, and I've been left to question why. It is a difficult thing to go through on its own, and then add recovery on top of that.

I've found an escape in writing, this blog helps more than you'll know, and doing things that I hope make other people smile. I've left Operation Beautiful notes around town, written for Healthy Living Blogs about what health means to me, and just today submitted a post for Faces of Beauty.

Heather began her site for everyone and anyone to realize the true beauty they possess. For 14 years she suffered from an eating disorder and refused to call herself beautiful. She encourages women and men to write why they are beautiful and submit it along with a makeup-less photo to accompany their words.

Here goes another attempt to help me along:

At a very young age I was praised for my looks. A porcelain doll, with flowing dirty blonde locks and deep dimples; I was the centre of attention where ever my mother took me.

It didn’t last; my sensitive eyes were hidden in tinted glasses to protect them from the sun. My “baby fat” never disappeared and once the baby part was no more, it wasn’t that cute.

From the age of 10 I remember the negative self-talk. I was never pretty in my own skin.

I loved, and still love my personality (I best describe it as sassy) but fifteen years later in a vain world, I still have a hard time accepting the true beauty that I hold on the outside.

I’m the person that finds the most beautiful things in other people, but need little daily reminders to help me realize that I shine from the inside and out.

This is me. No makeup, no touch ups, just me.

 When I look at this picture, I know:

I love my eyes, because they are as indecisive as my mind. They aren’t sure if they want to be green or hazel, and change their colour often.

I love my mole that sits above my lip on the left side, because it breaks up the symmetry of my face even though I fear one day it will grow a witch’s hair.

I love my dimples, because they make me unique. I like that not everyone has them, and they are a true reminder of my childhood ‘cute’.

I love my nose, though you’ll never hear me admit it out loud, because it is off centre and large, and adds so much character to my face.

I love the scar through my left eyebrow, because it reminds me of my clumsiness and makes for a great story. The short of it: I fell down a flight of stairs and hit my head on a rock when I was 3.

I love the imperfections and red spots on my skin, because I’m not trying to be perfect, and they remind me to always wash my makeup off my face before I fall asleep.

I love that I look almost identical to my mother, because she has to be one of the most beautiful people I know.

I love my roots, because they tell secrets. No, my natural hair colour isn’t white!

I love that this post took hours, many tears and many Kleenex to write, because to heal you have to feel, and I experienced every emotion possible.

I am a work in progress, a mess at best, but l love me and my beautiful face. 

I am so thankful for people like Heather and Lindsey for starting such inspirational blogs that connect similar people. Just reading the stories of contributors make my heart smile. There are so many strong people in the health and fitness blog community that have such powerful stories of success. An inspiration to say the least. 

If you ever need a reminder of just how beautiful you are, please feel free to ask me.  

A hat, a bat, and that's not all

I'm home, but not without a few more eventful days in Boston.

Sunday had to be the craziest day. In my books you can't have a summer trip to Beantown with out a trip to visit this Monstah:

It was a VERY rainy day and the start of the game got delayed from 1:35 to 3:15 because of the water works. Thanks goodness for covered seats, sister and I stayed remotely dry while we waited.

Being from Toronto with the dome, I'm pretty spoiled that I don't ever have to worry about weather getting in the way of my baseball. I also would never be able to witness this:

So freakin' neat to watch them uncover and fix up the field. It takes a lot of man power!

Game on! Gaaammme oonnn! (a la Wayne's World road hockey).

It was an experience and a half being at such an old stadium, historic with so much character! At the top of the third, there was yet another rain delay and the tarp went back out. This one lasted an hour. Oh did we ever get our money's worth. The ball game took six hours to play.

Too bad that the Jays lost because of one bad inning from Marcum. He was pitching so well, I'm not going to hold it against him. I've got another Jays game to see tonight! I'm partial to my BlueJays home games with OK Blue Jays playing at the seventh inning stretch instead of "God Bless America"

We weren't the only Jays fans in town, in fact we saw Paul Molitor. 

While I was being creepy and taking pictures of strangers on the street I found this lovely character. I'd like flowers from a man, his woman is quite lucky.

Yes, I realize I'm so so creepy! But I did think it was so sweet!

We spent another day at Target on Monday before heading home. I loved my trip, but I also love being home.

This was me in a coffee shop, writing posts and emails! The Hyatt really needs free wifi for their peeps!

I'll get back to blogging regularly about my ankle tomorrow, I just had to catch up with the rest of my trip.

Speaking on my ankle. It hurts, but not as much as it did on Monday. Once we flew home on Monday night I couldn't find a comfortable way to sleep without waking myself up in pain. I couldn't prop it up, I couldn't keep it in a brace, no socks, no no-socks, no pain gels, or drugs, nothing! I am happy to say that the last day and a bit have reduced the pain and the swelling I saw in it. I think the trip over did it. Again we rest. 97 days of hell.

I'll leave you with a video of my all-time favourite Blue Jay. The one, the only Mr. Kelly W. Gruber!

I think I'll go to Boston

Dear Boston, I love you!

It’s been a spectacular three days so far in Boston; Sister and I are having a great time. Our feet hurt, we’re tired, we have weird burns. It couldn’t be any better.

The ankle is holding up pretty well, and I’ve only had to put the brace on twice. Both of those were near the end of the day after LOTS of walking. One thing we quickly realized once we were here is that EVERYONE jaywalks. Each hustle on the street has gone well - no pain from the quick jog across the block.

It was an early morning on Thursday, but we were excited to get to the airport and get on our way.

I always hate leaving my gorgeous city, but my memories of Boston made it easy to leave this sight:

Day 1: we took it pretty easy.

We checked into our gorgeous hotel, walked along Boylston St., shopped on Newbury St., and dined at Faneuil Hall.

The seafood is something spectacular, but what do you expect when they pull it straight out of the water beside you?!

Day 2: we packed from top to bottom.

We got our bearings straight at breakfast with free wifi at Starbucks. Our hotel, though amazing (hello, Hyatt) and discounted (thank you Blazers lacrosse), charges $10/day for Internet access. Are you kidding me? There are over 250 hotspots within walking distance. Who would pay?

With lists and maps in hand we ventured out to be the best tourists we could be - snapping photos and exploring markets. 

Then I made an appearance on FOX national news. 

Topic of the day: what do you think about the recent study about single old women as cougars?

Really? This was made for me! I wish I saw the segment. My pretty hilarious answer touched on how it has to be true, or else I would have no goals for my future. Reporter dude then asked how one prepares to be a cougar. You start as a puma of course! In your 20s you prey on those in the younger 20s maybe even 19. Don’t think he was expecting me, but it made for some good TV. You’re welcome, reporter dude! Now, I just need to date someone younger….34? Isn’t younger!

We made it to Whole Foods in search of goodies and lunch.

YUM! And we enjoyed it in the beautiful Boston Commons. 

After changing shoes and outfits, we took a ride on the Duck tours. Nothing screams tourist more than an organized city tour (actually a fanny pack and a visor does, but I refuse to venture there).

Quack Quack! This vehicle shaped like a duck drives around the streets then plunges into the Charles Rivah…ahem, river. My R’s are escaping me here in Bahstan.

I’m glad we did it, and I’m glad we got to sit for over an hour. You learn a bit more than if you walked around alone, and got to see some beautiful sights.

Day 3: we think our feet have fallen off.

We decided to explore the subway system…or the “T”. Verdict: love it! It was so easy to understand, simple to transfer, quick and comfortable. Our first stop?

HARVARD! Such a pretty campus – but huge, confusing and pretentious.

We didn’t stick around too long, before getting back on the T and heading to the Happiest Place on Earth. TARGET!

Of course Sister and I would find a Target! We emptied our wallets and were pleased to do so. I was doing pretty well with budgeting until today. I can’t control myself at Target, but when I think about the quantity I bought for the price I paid, I’m very impressed with myself.

Though exhausted, we decided to make one last T stop at the library before heading back to the hotel. We saw a sign for a vintage postcard exhibit and just had to go see it.

Feet were on fire by this time, so we decided to stop for a bit in the garden. Guess what? I’ve found the place I’m going to get married. Didn’t know I was planning a wedding? Either did I! Doesn’t matter, I now have a location.

We’re taking it easy tonight. Dinner and a bit more shopping, we have to pick something up for dad. Mom got slippers from Boston College.

Tomorrow we’re headed to the Sox game; we’ve got our tickets and are fully outfitted for the game. Still need to check out the Swan Boats and there is always time for more shopping. 

We leave here late on Monday, and I already don’t want to go. Anyone hiring in Beantown? I’ll pretty much do anything!